The blended mama

i am a blend of helicopter, tiger, dolphin, bear, sunshine, darkness and everything in between

I am feeling grateful to the the sea, the sun, the wind and the sand. They helped me come out of my blues. Three days of beach therapy did it for me.

I checked myself into a beach front hut for three days. Three days of no TV and no internet. I spend the first two days playing with the waves, walking in the sand barefoot, wandering aimlessly through the shore and watching the sea from the small courtyard of my waterfront hut. On the third day, I swam in the sea for many hours. It was crazy. I started swimming at dawn and got out of water only for breakfast and lunch. I swam in the sea till sunset.

It was really crazy. Swimming for a while. Then floating for a while to conserve my energy for the next swim. Getting hit and tossed around by powerful waves, the salt and sand stinking my eyes, the fierce sun roasting my skin. Just before sunset, I sighted a pod of dolphins swimming nearby. It was exhilarating. I went into the beast mode. I swam forever and ever. Like a mad woman. Like a possessed woman.

The sea has always marveled me. As a child, I have had the same dream many nights. I am floating in the wind like a soft feather  and beneath me is the endless enigmatic ocean. I have been frightened by this dream. I cannot call it a nightmare. I was afraid of going to the beach or stepping my foot into the water as a three or four year old. The crash of the thundering waves, the dark waters and the creatures that I imagined which were lurking underneath made it impossible for me to hit the waves. But as years passed by, I grew less and less afraid of it.

As a child, I was addicted to fairy tales and tales of the sea. I have imagined myself as the little mermaid living in an underwater kingdom. I have also sailed the seven seas with Sindbad in all his fantasy voyages, of course in my imagination. I was enthralled especially by his first voyage in which he and his mates set ashore on a giant sleeping whale thinking that it was an island. It was in fourth grade that I laid my hands on Moby Dick in the school library. I revelled in reading it countless times during the two months of summer vacation after four grade.

 

Jonah’s story in the Old Testament has also fascinated me.

farfariacom.jpg

jonah and the whale. Image courtesy: http://www.farfaria.com

I started loving the sea. When I was in college, my love for the sea made me join the Naval wing of the National Cadet Corps. I did some swimming, sailing, boat-pulling and other water sports for a brief period. In the second year of my college, I became the best woman cadet of my State and was selected to join the NCC Naval wing contingent which was to participate in the Republic Day parade of my country that year. I was also selected to join a team of cadets to go for an international youth exchange programme. But I didn’t go for any of that. My NCC days had a rather sad and abrupt ending because I lost my fight with my father who was totally against it. (That is another story for another time).

I don’t have wanderlust. But I lust after the ocean.

Coming back to where I started this topic, I don’t know what worked for me; swimming in the sea, the waves, the smell of the salt and sand, the wind, the dolphins, the starfish that latched on to my feet, the burning sun, the night sea shining in the moon light, the stars, the flickering neon lights of the numerous beach huts, the smiling foreign tourists, cheerful locals; they all played a part in washing away my blues.

After two very painful back surgeries, its complications and a host of other physical ailments that I underwent in a short span of a year, I was feeling very gloomy and depressed. But not anymore. Not after my days near the sea. I long for a happy life once again. I am not floating in hopelessness and sadness anymore. Yes, I am weak out of what my body has gone through. But I want to gather strength and come here again, to swim better, to walk better and may be to jog through the beach in the mornings (I don’t know about that, but let me see).

I lay in the sand like a beached whale. I enjoyed it. This is a private beach. Here, I am not under the prying eyes of locals like in my place. Here I can wear anything and do anything at the beach or in the water. I bought a two piece bikini which I wore underneath my T-shirt and shorts. I wasn’t ready to show off the layers of steroid-induced fat that covered my body. But I am hopeful that the next time I come here, I will be wearing only the bikini when I go for a swim, not clothes that weigh me down. So, I have resolved to lose those unnecessary pounds.
The power of the thundering waves, the power of the wind, the power of the ocean; the power of nature that man cannot fathom. The power of the creator who created it all. It gives us the realization that we are nothing but specks in this place called earth. That we are here only for a short while, and the next moment, we are gone. All this loathing, greed, jealousy and vile are of no use in the grand scheme of things. It’s all futile. We don’t know the end of the story.

I thank the sea for giving me hope. Now I want to ride the wave till I hit the beach.

P.S: I just can’t help it but add two very beautiful bible verses describing the wonder that is the ocean at the cost of sounding preachy.

So is this great and wide sea, wherein are things creeping innumerable, both small and great beasts. There go the ships: there is that leviathan, whom thou hast made to play therein. These wait all upon thee: that thou mayest give them their meat in due season.‘(Psalm 104: verses 25-27).

‘ For I have placed the sand as a boundary for the sea, an eternal decree, so that it cannot cross over it. Though the waves toss, yet they cannot prevail. Though they roar, yet they cannot cross over it.’ (Jeremiah 5:22).

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2 thoughts on “Grateful to the sea for washing away my blues

  1. dearlilyjune says:

    Beautiful! I am so glad you had this moment of personal restoration. You make me long for the sea…

  2. Thank you for your sweet words dear.yes,nature restored my broken mind..(but I was quite reckless when it came to swimming in the sea all day long..i got so scared that as soon as i reached home,i went and took x-ray of my back to make sure i hadn’t broken any of my implants…hehe..)..but never mind.i just realized the power of the great outdoors.nature can heal.

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