Stop Being So Hard on Yourself: A Grace-Based Approach to Growth
If you’ve been feeling like you’re falling behind lately…
Like things are taking longer than they used to…
Like you should be able to handle more than you are right now…
You’re not alone.
And friend — this is where we need to pause for a moment.
Because sometimes the pressure we feel isn’t coming from everything around us.
It’s coming from how we’re speaking to ourselves inside it all.
Prefer to Listen Instead?
This week’s Monday Musings episode dives deeper into this idea of being kind to yourself — especially in seasons where your capacity looks different than it used to.
If you’d rather listen while you’re getting things done, you can tune in here:
The Comparison We Don’t Talk About
Lately, I’ve noticed something in my own life.
I don’t compare myself to other women very often anymore.
I compare myself to past Teresa.
The version of me who could:
- juggle all the things
- move faster
- think faster
- recover faster
- produce more
The version of me who could run at full speed and still feel steady.
And when I look at this season?
That voice shows up.
“You should be able to handle this.”
“What’s taking you so long?”
“Why didn’t you do this already?”
It’s subtle.
But it’s sharp.
And honestly?
It’s exhausting.
Why Being Hard on Yourself Feels So Normal
There are a few reasons this shows up so strongly:
- We’re used to measuring success by output
- We remember what used to feel easy
- We assume our capacity should stay the same
But here’s the truth:
Comparing yourself to a previous version of yourself is still comparison.
And comparison — even with your past self — quietly drains your energy.
Especially in seasons where things are shifting.
Hormones.
Responsibilities.
Energy levels.
Focus.
Everything isn’t the same.
And it’s not supposed to be.
Growth Doesn’t Always Look Like More
One of the most freeing shifts I’ve been learning is this:
Growth doesn’t always look like doing more.
Sometimes growth looks like:
- adjusting your pace
- simplifying your focus
- choosing what matters
- letting go of unrealistic expectations
Because this version of you?
She’s not behind.
She’s just operating in a different season.
What Grace Actually Looks Like in Your Planner
This is where we bring it back to something practical.
Because grace isn’t just a mindset.
It’s something we can actually build into how we plan.
1️⃣ Highlight Progress — Not Just Productivity
At the end of the week, it’s easy to focus on:
- what didn’t get done
- what’s still on the list
- what feels unfinished
But when I actually sit down and look at my planner?
I see something different.
Emails sent.
Decisions made.
Meals cooked.
Conversations handled.
Progress.
One simple practice:
👉 Take a highlighter and mark what moved forward.
Even if it feels small.
Because small movement still counts.
2️⃣ Rewrite the Inner Dialogue
If you catch yourself thinking:
“I should be able to do more.”
Pause.
And rewrite it.
Try:
“This season requires a different pace, and that’s okay.”
This is one of the most powerful shifts you can make.
Because the way you talk to yourself determines how sustainable your week feels.
3️⃣ Start Your Week with an Affirmation
During your weekly planning session, add a simple statement at the top of your page.
Not a goal.
A grounding truth.
Something like:
- I am allowed to move at a sustainable pace
- I am steady and capable in this season
- I am doing enough for where I am right now
This changes how you approach everything that follows.
4️⃣ Focus on Movement — Not Perfection
Instead of asking:
Did I hit every goal?
Did I do everything perfectly?
Ask:
Did I move forward?
Because movement counts.
Even small movement counts.
A Visual Reminder You Can Carry With You
This idea of grace isn’t just something we think about.
It’s something we can carry into our everyday life.
Not pressure.
Not perfection.
Grace.
If you want to check it out, you can find it here (PS use coupon code TERESAMARIESTON to save 15%):
A Gentle Reflection for This Week
If you’re somewhere you can pause for a moment, grab your planner.
And try one of these:
- Highlight one thing you moved forward this week
- Rewrite one self-critical thought
- Write one sentence about how you want to feel this week
Not what you want to finish.
How you want to feel.
You’re Not Behind
My friend, I want you to hear this clearly:
You are not falling behind.
You are adjusting to a new rhythm.
A different capacity.
A different season.
And that doesn’t mean you’re doing less.
It means you’re learning to move forward with more awareness.
More intention.
And more grace.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If this is something you’ve been struggling with — that internal pressure, that feeling of not doing enough — I’d love to invite you into my Chaos Coordinator Community.
It’s a space where we talk about this kind of thing honestly.
Where we plan together, reflect together, and figure out what actually works in real life.
You don’t have to carry it alone.
Additional Reading:
Graceful Goal Setting: Aligning Your Dreams with Gratitude
When Consistency Feels Heavy: How to Build Supportive Routines for Your Life
Live in Your Current Season: Letting Your Planning Match Real Life