If you’ve been following this blog, you know I’m in the middle of a series that’s telling an overview of DJs’ and my relationship. I’m going to take a break from that today because what I’m going to write about is heavy on my heart.
Dealing with damaged emotions.
We had our blending families small group gathering last night, and it could not have happened at a better time. We started the session 3 material, which covers how past hurts can impact your marriage. As Jimmy Evans pointed out, we see that in Genesis 3, once marriage showed up, the Devil felt threatened and in order to destroy society, he has to start by attacking the very foundation. He tempts us first and then he condemns us. But this is the very reason that Jesus came and died on the cross!
Sometimes, as divorced people, and as blended families, we can be made to feel ashamed, alone, unworthy and unusable, even by those in the church. People don’t divorce (or remarry) because they are evil people, but often times because they just don’t know better. Whether you had no choice in the matter or whether you were the reason for your divorce, don’t listen to the lies of the enemy. Don’t let him condemn you because Christ does not condemn you. You can learn from your past and God can use you to help others through similar situations and even help others not make the same mistakes that you made! Own your mistakes, repent of your own wrongdoing, seek the truth, and move forward. Forgive yourself so that God can use you!
“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.”
Romans 8:1 NLT
You are not alone.
The best part of being in this small group is the feeling that we are not alone. Blending families face challenges that “regular” families don’t have to deal with, which can lead to you feeling like no one understands what you’re going through and maybe you’re just going crazy. It is so important to connect with others who are going through the same challenges you are facing. It reminds you that you are not alone in this fight, and you have others who can come alongside you and walk with you. I believe that God brought the families in our small group to this group for a reason. We are all learning from each other and building friendships and camaraderie that will strengthen our marriages and help build strong families.
“Without conflict there is no growth.”
While this topic was in this session to help us work through potential areas of conflict with our spouse as it relates to past pain, I believe that it can be applied across the board. I believe that Satan hates marriage and he will do whatever it takes to rattle the foundation that God has in place. I believe that when God is trying to use you, Satan will test you. That’s why it is so important to have a firm foundation to stand on, and we are standing on the foundation that Jesus is Lord, and through Jesus, we can do all things. We stand on the promise that God has plans for us, plans to prosper and not to harm.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
We are also being tested, and one of those tests came last night. It shook us to our core, and we are so grateful that our small group was there to witness it, to encourage us and to stand with us in prayer for our family. We believe that our remarriage is a perfect example of God’s REDEMPTION. He can take something so broken, so ugly and turn it into something beautiful. We feel like we are in the middle of God’s redeeming fire, and we trust that He is using this time to purify us and mold us into something beautiful.
“These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”
1 Peter 1:7 NLT
Will you cover us in prayer?
We are going through some trials that are going to test our faith. Will you pray with us and for us throughout the month of May? Specifically, will you pray for:
- God to place His angels around our children to protect their bodies, souls and spirits;
- The truth to be revealed and for our hearts to be revealed to those who need to see it;
- The lies of the enemy to be uncovered for what they are;
- The strength to stand on God’s promises for our family;
- God to speak wisdom into our hearts and our minds so that our words and actions reveal His heart for our family;
- God’s favor and God’s will to be done in some important decisions that will be made this month, some of which are not ours to make;
- Peace in the midst of the storms of life, especially for our children;
- Us to place our trust in the Lord and not in men, and for us to be at peace if His plans don’t look like our plans.